Musical Saturday Morning

Two competitors in a talent contest, both realizing that they had little hope, looked at each other on the elevator and the question was broached:  "what if we teamed up?"

And one of the more successful of the 1970's into the 1980's groups was born ...

From 1981, riding their high and before success overcame them:

Portlandia

In January 2013, I went do a birthday party down in Portland, for one of "my boys" from the 1970's.  It was now his 50th and he wanted to throw a bash.  Well it was certainly odd in any event...  I probably covered all of this last year.

However, once back home, my friend sent me this link to a show called Portlandia.  Never had heard of it and it is definitely Portland culture at its best!

Anyway at 58 seconds there appears this  huge red bearded guy.  And I could not believe it!  He had been at the birthday party!  One heck of a nice guy, with a real love for his wife.  I was amazed at his devotion to her because I honestly had never seen a non-dysfunctional relationship before, between husband and wife.  It made me think ...

This was all brought back this week as I had the Comcast guy over whom had never heard of Portlandia.  So I was showing him my downloads and he was just cracking up - because, well, it is Portland personified! So as he was on hold mostly for seven hours of waiting for technical help in India to get my system back up, we watched clip after clip of a show I would like to watch in its entirety one of these days!

And so, enjoy a few moments of Portland insanity:



Probably the best part of this video is that it is just what was happening along the Willamette River that day as they did the filming.  Clowns, the gay choir and band practicing, random people from both normal life and on the film crew.  Almost makes you want to move somewhere, where insanity reigns and hiding would be so easy ...

Bested

It is not often you will read about someone getting the better of me, man oh man, did Gaelic Girl utterly destroy me in our conversation!

I went to a professional because I wanted some independent input as to where I am, who GG is, the relationship that I believe needs to be terminated and all of the problems which have occurred since 2009.  He just stopped me about 20 minutes in and commented that there was no relationship given what I had told him.  I was being odd for even thinking something did exist.  But, I intrigued him with the complexity of the tale.

Well, I do agree with him.  There has not been anything for years.  Just inflicted pain and angry outbursts.

I write better than I can talk.  It takes me days to form a coherent sentence to express something meaningful to me.  And I told GG my opinion and thoughts.  But before I reached the part of how do you want to handle the liquidation?  I was reminded of something unpleasant.

She was a state champion in debate in her high school years.  I never was much into words, constructing arguments, etc.  All so much weasel words to me.  And she utterly destroyed me in under three sentences.  i was left with no reply because I never could have foreseen the tact she took to call me a liar outright.

I even have my posts from when she said what and I am still a liar - concocting this story stretching back years for some unknown reason.

I was left speechless and in an utter state of confusion.

So it seems my idea from the beginning of April will now become the major push - sell it all off piece by piece - I will have little room under my tree I move to in the woods.

Hard Answers

So last night was a night of prayer.  Prayer that God would let me know what I am supposed to do about Gaelic Girl and my situation.  As I have mentioned in the past, I have a problem letting go of friends, apparently to the point of absurdity.  As last night has shown, GG is completely beyond the pale of reality.

Back home she could have been quietly institutionalized and a proper diagnosis performed.  But, not in America, especially not in Washington State where the rights of the mentally ill are apparently greater than those they victimize.  And I have nothing left.

My ability to hold the course and keep her in the family has reached its end, at least as far as I am concerned.  Heavens I might be the one removed from the family if there is sides taking to be performed!  Sigh ...  No idea how all of this is going to play out today.

I had my friends praying last night with me for wisdom - because I need God's wisdom in this.  When I woke up this morning the only thing I really knew was that I had stayed here too long.  I should have left in 2012 or beginning of 2013 at the latest, so much pain and a major heart attack could have been avoided.  And Sugar Ray's song, Someday, would not be echoing through my mind still.

I hate failure. 
I hate losing friends. 
I hate what life has done to GG. 
But I can not hate what has happened inside of me.
To see in colors and to now understand life for the first time.  A blessing I could never share with GG because there was never any love between us.

So, I look ahead to a continued life alone, hey been there for the past five years!
Currently two friends left.
A small army of prayer warriors behind me.
An unknown future ahead.

And I know that God will continue to lead me, where He wants me, just as he has done for most of my life....

End of the Trail

I am if nothing, a gentleman, whom does try to be honorable.

I have struggled now for years to maintain something of a good relationship with Gaelic Girl.  Originally, I thought she was just going through the change of life, and perhaps she was.  But, she never came back from it.

Then, I kept making excuses for her violence, temper and ill regard towards me for over two  years now.

Last night was the end of a 37 year long trail.  She attacked my son's dog for getting into some chocolate she left out.  And he is a dog after all.  Apparently he was only startled and hid under son's bed for two hours.  But those blows were not called for nor just a simple slap on the rump - they could have easily have caused internal injuries ... I am surprised they did not, well we will know by morning probably.

Then it was then my turn. 

I went to an unapproved church on Sunday, I had lunch with a friend she does not approve of either.  I was told to never return to the church and to lose the last of my real friends ... and no, she does not want to be my friend either.

And so now, with the line drawn in the sand.  I will begin the packing up of what is important to me and find a storage location to put my important stuff in.

I had wanted to wait until GG had her surgery, so that she would be stable and able to work again in a few months.  But you know - I do not think I care anymore ... at least not as I write this anyways.

If I was a woman and she a man, the cops would be all over her right now.

In Passing, Paula

When I started attending this current church regularly, I instantly made a few solid acquaintances.  Guys were a little sparse because I have NO interest in sports and the men's mid-week study seems to only be attended by those whom were born without cojones.  Unfortunately, I was and I loath sitting around listening to men weeping about how unfair life is.  Really?  Then get your (*&*&^&%^^%#$) out of that chair and do something about it!  Gees, life is not that much of a mystery - if you have some cojones and bother to talk with God regularly .....

Well, that leaves the females of the church.  First off I killed off any attempts by single women to get to know me, because i do not want to know them and amongst the married women there three safe ones.  I have mentioned Elspeth before, she was a good friend, Vonnie was also (a long lost friend from my early NATO childhood! small world!) and last but not least Paula.

Paula, I met because I was surprised to find one of my clients at the church.  Well, here in the Pacific Northwest of America, with the lowest Christian church attendance outside Baghdad, plus we both work in Information Technology - not much chance of ever meeting up with one of my clients!  He was typical old school - quiet, hard to engage, always alone in a room full of friends.  Probably why I liked him - almost exactly like me.

Conversely, Paula was everything her husband was not - outspoken, gregarious, full of life!  But, also with a dark side.  Life had been cruel to the both of them, they married late in life and struggled to help each other with their personal demons.  Paula needed professional help and medication, and yet, even at that .....

Saturday morning, rumor has it, a single shotgun shot to the head and her struggles were over.

Her husband devastated.

"Friends", such as me, to stand with mouths open and unable to grasp what she has done.

Her pastors left more than a little uneasy ...  she never reached out in her final struggle.

Perhaps, as the week wears on, I will learn more as to why this happened.

In the meantime, I contemplate with pride the progress my friend is making.  In such a few short weeks from desiring death, to desiring life.  It has been a hard struggle for them and God always keeping me just in the nick of time with the words to say or the knowledge of what is needed.  Currently we are working on trust, hard to relearn once you have been betrayed in life.  Yet, without it, there can be no actual quality of life.  And, I know they are going to make it just fine .....

Musical Saturday Morning

Oh heavens I have no idea how long it has been since I first heard this, certainly pre'college days or maybe first year at the latest.

I remember I was back in Denver, laying in bed one night listening to music to drift off to by and suddenly this came on - I was up laughing for most of the night!