Article on Sociopaths

http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_sociopaths_cults_influence.html

Not an entirely correct article but an interesting read!

10 signs for spotting a sociopath

#1) Sociopaths are charming. Sociopaths have high charisma and tend to attract a following just because people want to be around them. They have a "glow" about them that attracts people who typically seek guidance or direction. They often appear to be sexy or have a strong sexual attraction. Not all sexy people are sociopaths, obviously, but watch out for over-the-top sexual appetites and weird fetishes.

#2) Sociopaths are more spontaneous and intense than other people. They tend to do bizarre, sometimes erratic things that most regular people wouldn't do. They are unbound by normal social contracts. Their behavior often seems irrational or extremely risky.

#3) Sociopaths are incapable of feeling shame, guilt or remorse. Their brains simply lack the circuitry to process such emotions. This allows them to betray people, threaten people or harm people without giving it a second thought. They pursue any action that serves their own self interest even if it seriously harms others.

#4) Sociopaths invent outrageous lies about their experiences. They wildly exaggerate things to the point of absurdity, but when they describe it to you in a storytelling format, for some reason it sounds believable at the time.

#5) Sociopaths seek to dominate others and "win" at all costs. They hate to lose any argument or fight and will viciously defend their web of lies, even to the point of logical absurdity.

#6) Sociopaths tend to be highly intelligent, but they use their brainpower to deceive others rather than empower them. Their high IQs often makes them dangerous. This is why many of the best-known serial killers who successfully evaded law enforcement were sociopaths.

#7) Sociopaths are incapable of love and are entirely self-serving. They may feign love or compassion in order to get what they want, but they don't actually FEEL love in the way that you or I do.

#8) Sociopaths speak poetically. They are master wordsmiths, able to deliver a running "stream of consciousness" monologue that is both intriguing and hypnotic. They are expert storytellers and even poets. As a great example of this in action, watch this interview of Charles Manson:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIfGj_55FHI

#9) Sociopaths never apologize. They are never wrong. They never feel guilt. They can never apologize. Even if shown proof that they were wrong, they will refuse to apologize and instead go on the attack.

#10) Sociopaths are delusional and literally believe that what they say becomes truth merely because they say it! Charles Manson, the sociopathic murderer, is famous for saying, "I've never killed anyone! I don't need to kill anyone! I THINK it! I have it HERE! (Pointing to his temple.) I don't need to live in this physical realm..."

Watch Charles Manson saying this at the 3:05 mark of this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIfGj_55FHI

More on Idols

Thinking on things which can come between us and God:
Money
Power
Fame
Pleasure
Drugs
Alcohol
Popularity
Perception of others
Fashion
Appearance
Sports (playing)
Sports (watching)
Athletes
Celebrities
Technology
Gadgets
Success
Finding the "deal"
The "American" dream
Cars
Family
Friends
Your children's activities
Your children's success
Job
Tools
Promotions
Heath/fitness
Pets
Entertainment
an abundance of other ideas which can come between you and God.  Even you service to God can become an idol!

Idols

Spent time this past two days reading through James and then had to branch to 1 John since God was bringing the subject of idols in our/my life to my attention.

1 John 5:20-21

First, you need to identify the idols in your life.
The Holy Spirit will show you the idols of your life, if you allow hm to.
Problem is, these idols are the very things we allow in our lives!
To seek your idols is to point your fingers back at yourself - expect to not be happy.
1.  What have you put in God's place in your life?
2.  What controls your life?
3.  What brings meaning to your life?

In all likelihood, you just discovered your problem.

Repent and put things right!
Regain the perspective that God comes first, all else after that.
Confess to God having allowed these items to separate you from him.
Correct the situation and place less emphasis on those items.
Make right with others, like you family you have ignored.
Restore Jesus to the throne of your life.

Keeping Jesus first in all things.
Perspective on Him and not things/stuff/non important situations.
This is not a monastic form of life you should be following,
Be involved in your community and those around you!

Conclusion of a Lesson

Tonight God showed me why I have been in a living hell for the past two plus weeks.....
I wrote at the beginning of this lesson back when it occurred and then had to delete it when I realized that there were a few legal ramification for what I had said.  Yeah, it was about me but it had some "national security" issues associated with it.  I really do not want more trouble in my life, so I deleted it.  But, that was the beginning.....

It all started with a movie I watched.  Although fictionalized, to be more exciting that it was in reality, it traced what happened after an event I was involved in.  In real life, when I figured it out, I got the heck out of Dodge, so to speak.  But, I knew someone, sometime would be found to replace me.  And, as I sat and watched, a flood of memories came roaring back into my mind: pictures of a man, his wife, his children, his home, his body guards, the plans of his village, the topography of the area.  Forty years later I can still recall the particulars of the man I was supposed to murder - in the name of peace.  Oh how politically incorrect of me!  I was supposed to "adjust a situation".  Yeah, with an M-21 rifle.

So I and the military came to blows.  In the end, I won in Federal Court.  In reality, it cost me all peace for two years, my stepmother was kidnapped and tortured (oh again politically incorrect of me - detained and beat senseless) and destroyed father's marriage number three.

Coincidentally, came my friends involving me in something they thought would be hilarious.  Betrayed by all it seemed at the time.

My honor destroyed, literally fearing for my life, I packed my toothbrush and headed for Vancouver, Canada in hopes of hiding from everyone!  But, this guy named Jesus caught up with me in Seattle, when a random Christian gal gave this skinny hitch-hiker a ride, I found her to be unlike anyone I had ever known, and the rest became history.

But in 1974 the only way I survived the disasters in my life was to completely lock my mind and heart down.  No one was allowed near, no one came close, obviously NO ONE could be trusted.  Except for a Swedish model I meet - she can be found under the 1975 betrayal.  grrrrrrrrrr!

Forty years later, I sat and watched my own fictionalized history: the horror, the terror, the betrayals all came rushing back to my mind.  My life was already in shambles, I was struggling to stay sane, and then the last child went sideways on me.  The betrayal was complete.  I struggled because I could not believe she could turn on me, I did everything I could to reach out but all of my attempts fell on a closed mind.  I had become inconvenient.  I completely shut down.

And tonight, God had a little 'test' cross my path, a test which left me questioning exactly what is wrong.  And God tied the past and present together - so plainly that even I could see a few things which explained why I was reacting as I was.  It does not change the sense of betrayal I still feel, but I think I can now deal with it - if I am not the only one attempting to so......

I am stunned to find out how close to the surface old memories lay.  A random movie brought back memories I thought long sealed.  Yet, all of the psychological cues were there: the repeat events lined up and my protective defenses took over.  No nothing is changed today - life still sucks, the year still has the ability to be the worse ever, and no one will interact with me.  Be that as it may, I at least can understand the why of my mind and heart shutting down.  I can at least make one more effort to reach out to the last person I trust in my life.

Temptation

I am so tempted to delete my last post, but really it shows the frustration and stress I am having to deal with.  I was so frustrated on the evening of the third, I just told God to take this dysfunctional relationship and stuff it.  But, I allowed that if he did give me any form of an acknowledgement concerning my frustration, I would hang in there but having no idea as to how to do so.

And he did, literally as I was shutting off the phone for the night - a text of no real meaning arrived other than it acknowledged that I might still be alive.  I was so angry, you have no idea!  Whether I like it or not, dysfunctional is the status quo, with no idea how to continues.....

Yesterday was a bit of a drag as well.  The stress and the symptoms runs unabated through my body.  I could not even go to the little parade, my body to messed up between the meds and trying to stay awake.  Then, everyone confirmed for the bbq.  But who showed up?  Swedish Rocket Scientist, whom I had not invited as I thought he was not even going to be in the area.  Gaelic Girl, whom I did invite.  And two kids, only one of whom ate, but everyone left before the fireworks.  So I sat with son's dog and tried to keep him calm while explosions rocked the house.  Now I have a MOUNTAIN of food for the eleven whom did not show up, yet were expected.  I think I am going to be hating brats and potato salad before the weekend is over.

This will probably be my last attempt at entertainment this year.  There does not seem to be much appreciation for what it takes to put on a spread, nor for the the cost involved either.  And I would have been much happier not cleaning my house, not spending 1.5 days cooking, for people whom were not to show up.

Sigh.  People suck.

Struggling On

So, third set of coins ready to go off this afternoon to the local shop.  Took most of the evening as I grieved over the loss but such as it is....  I am amazed at how hard this is.  I know that if one of my children needed surgery, I would sell them with joy - but to sell them for a future day that someone might seek professional help.....sigh, that one is oh so much harder.  But, then again, maybe there is another purpose behind this?

I generally do a bbq on the Fourth of July.  Not even sure all of the kids will show up.  But, I invited a guy from the church whom has been a good friend.  His wife is taking their older children to a party and he was stuck at home with the two infants.  So why not do brats at Kris'?!?  The local fireworks are over the lake and my roof is the perfect observation point!

So, tomorrow should be fun!  If only I was not completely stressed out by life.  Yeah my blood pressure is off the charts again due to the stress.  I am at my end, why bother any longer?  The more I attempt to stand in place, the worse everything becomes.  Indeed, why bother?  And that haunting thought extends to every situation and every relationship in my life.  I am having nose bleeds that last 4 to 5 hours, severe chest pains (right side, so just inconvenient), and all I crave is cookies.

I function as a robot, do as expected (by me), ignore everyone's thoughts or anger expressed towards me.  They hated me before, they hate me now, they will hate me tomorrow.  They would all argue that they do not hate me, they just do not like me right now.  But since no one seems to want to be around me, talk with me, etc.  That is hate, it is not love that says I will live my life, blow off all others, unless it is convenient to me, I am the master of my own destiny after all, right?  Hardy, but no one listens.  Even when confronted with the truth, they only wish to worship error,  indeed, why bother anymore.

Yeah, Kris needs a vacation from humanity.

But, for one whom should care: I will be where I need to be - when I need to be.  If you are not there, I do not even care any longer.  God will raise up whom He will.  If someone else is there, fine.  I know my role, no matter what is thought of me......  I am not going to continue dysfunctional relationships.  Sorry.

Painful Weekend

It is turning out harder for me to part with my coin collection than I imagined it would be.  Sorting, resorting, knowing that almost all of it must go and yet knowing that it is not in  my heart to do so - especially given the situation.

Gaelic Girl has definitely popped a fuse somewhere.  I spent two weeks finding her a female Christian counselor, willing to work with a menopausal woman (it is harder than you think to find one!) and near her place of employment so easy to reach on days she wants to ride her bicycle.  I congratulate my stick-to-it-ness in solving that riddle!

The problem?  She is pissed off I did this without telling her what I was doing, because she has no intention of seeking counseling.  Sheeish.  Even though I was able to prove to her that she is delusional and had her visit the counselor's website - nope, not going to change her mind!  OMG! 

I attempted to address the entire father's day conversion where she told me to get out of her house, but she simply denied it.  Then yesterday agreed she had said it and still wanted me out of her house.  Go figure.  I told her to get counseling and we will discuss my leaving my children and her home.....

So it is hard to sell my coins.  I know she will not get the help she needs unless she does something stupid and her company puts into it, or she is arrested and forced into it, etc.  So, I am using the moneys to fix up Timothy's car for his honeymoon, when he flies out here next Saturday.  I need to replace three seat belts, the brakes, four tires and fluid changes.  Such fun!

But, I am hurting and when I hurt I eat, but I must not eat, I need to lose a tad more to fit my suit for the wedding next week.  Yeah, black suit, 100+ degree weather - my suit pants will probably fall off half way through the wedding due to water loss!  LOL.

So, none of the kids are talking to me anymore - unless they want something, GG is out of the picture, all of my friends except for one distancing me, and that one is mighty busy it seems.  So an army of one, relying on prayer to pull me through and somehow keep my sanity.  I am admittedly, at the end of ability to cope.

In the meantime, I exist in pain, without relief, without anyone to even talk to.  Thank God I am a sociopath or I would probably go out of mind, instead of continuing to work on my coins, eating Nilla Vanillas and wondering how could my entire surroundings have been so overcome by evil.....