A Typical Conversation

(You should know that Kelly told me those cell phones that hang in your ears are call ‘Bluetooth’…..)

Me: Hey kids, one of my internet friends told me that those phones which stick in your ears are called Bluetooth.

YD: It gives you blue teeth?

Me: No Bluetooth.

MD: I don’t want blue teeth.

Son: My teeth are already blue.

YD: No they are not!

Son: Are too!

YD: It is the rubber on your braces.

Son: Yeah, so what?  They are still blue because I am a man.

YD: ‘snorts’ – mine are pink but that does not make me a woman.

Son: that is because you are a gay man!

YD: I am not!

Me: Kids, kids, kids!

MD: Was not Bluetooth a pirate?

Me: No that was Blue Beard.

Son: Putting a cell phone in your ear gives you blue hair?

Me: No, no, no!  Blue Beard!

Son: I can have a beard?  I want to turn blue!

YD: I will help you turn blue! (and grabs for his neck!)

Son: eeeech!

MD: We can have a cell phone?

Me: (pounding head on table and squealing….)

Half People

You know them.  You see them everyday.  Half people, they are all around us!  What am I talking about?  Maybe you.

I was sitting in church last Sunday, last row as usual (have to keep those visitors pushed forward!).  In front of me, every week, sits a young woman already verified as being a half person and why I started thinking about this idea.  I looked up to the choir and picked out another three, also known to be half people.  Then, I looked around our small sanctuary and could easily spot another thirty half people scattered about.

In fact, half people seem to make up half, if not a majority of my church, maybe yours as well.  These are people whom for one reason or another no longer have a spouse.

Through marriage, or even ‘arrangement’, two became one, because this is how God created us.  Single we are incomplete, but when committed to another we become complete.  We become a whole person, each taking up for the failings of the other, each holding the other up in prayer, each supporting their commitment to one another.  It is as it should be, though seems to rarely be.

Yet, due to death, divorce, desertion or just the fickle state of our hearts – we are ripped apart – torn in half to be more precise.  No longer would man know the pleasure of having someone whom completes and supports him; no longer would woman know the security of being loved by one.  And this tearing often is in the form of the other ripping out our heart, biting out chunks, until all that is left is emptiness.  (Ok, ask me how I really feel today!)

For some, I have joy as they have found other spouses, though how they could ever cross that bridge again I have no idea – how do you learn to trust again?  (For some of these I worry about the Biblical basis for their remarriage!  But, God promises to make them one….).  And for others I understand all too well why they remain a half person by choice!  So it is with the young woman whom sits in front of me – wounded beyond consolation.

Several of my best friends have never married and in the 35 years of knowing one man, he has maybe only twice even met a female he liked enough to ask out.  Yes, all brain and no romance.  I often marvel at him and his choice to live alone.  And yes, God does use him in a very big way!

Paul, the apostle, encouraged half people to marry, if they needed to – in order to avoid sin (he uses lust and a tendency to gossip as examples).  As for my friend, he has no apparent need to marry and so never has.

Separated, even divorced, couples are to reconcile with one another.  That is priority one, or at least supposed to be.  When reconciliation is not even a possibility – well, half people are created…..

All the more reason for the young around us to guard their hearts and understand the Biblical qualifications for marriage and holding prospects to those standards!  There are already too many half people walking around – you do not need to be one…..

Dehumanizing

Since I have several friends currently going through separations and/or divorces, I have had a lot of drama to watch around me!  And somehow I get dumped on, since people want my opinion – yah like I am some sort of human relations expert.  Sigh…..

One aspect I have always wondered about is how each has the ability to utterly the kill the other in their mind.   I realize this is not a Christian virtue, in fact it is quite the opposite.  Divorce is so alien to the Christian concept and yet I see so much of it amongst the Christians I know.  And where prayer and compassion should be our reaction, anger – hatred – murder fill their minds.  Eventually the other is dehumanized to the point they no long exist, and should their paths cross, it is but a ghost they might remember if they thought real hard about it.

Originally I have theorized that the concept of Christian marriage is the problem – it is not being communicated to our hormonal youth and foolish young people.  And yet, as I read my Bible, even if you did marry someone not of your faith – God still promises to bless your marriage, maybe it will just be a little harder on you.  So, that must not be it.

I have thought on this whole hormonal issue.  Could it be that this culture of dating and freedom of choice is really to blame?  It is certainly a major factor in the divorce statistics and yet, I now do not think this is the answer either.

As I have had some thinking time lately, I realize now the real problem: a lack of character, a lack of conscience, a lack of courage – all compounded by an abundance of cultural ego.  Our culture has stripped us of our will to over ride our basic instincts!  I just realized this today…..

If character is defined as who I am when no one is watching, and I am selfish enough to only care about myself – not my family, not my friends, not my integrity, not my witness; then it becomes so clear how divorce becomes almost a requirement in today’s marriage.  We are in life for ourselves and not to sacrifice for each other.

Our conscience is seared by the sex saturated culture which surrounds us.  “Everybody” does it.  “Everybody” must be seeking the next best sexual experience, it is our nature!  Or so, culture would tell us.  And with our hyper developed egos running full throttle, do not I deserve the best pleasures out there – for ME?  This is the message being given to our children 24x7, heavens even in my own teenage years!  In my high school years I can remember the constant hammering of how everyone in the school was “doing it”.  But, I wondered whom “everyone” was.  I knew I was not.  I knew my two best friends were not.  I knew at least a half dozen girls, other than my girl friend, whom were not.  So, whom were these people?  Of course, it was a lie.

This problem of conscience extends to lack of honor, lying, honesty, friendship, etc.  All aspects of life are compromised by this egocentric focus of getting “ours” at everyone else’s expense.  Want to meet women whom have had 3 or more divorces?  Check out any high school - you will meet the emotional equivalents there.

Courage – I think this must be a nasty word today, it seems to be completely lacking in our culture.  I am not talking about the manly-man, whom exists to protect the weak female (oooh!) or the knight in shining armor headed out to fight the dragon.  I am talking about your conviction to say and do what is right, to face issues straight on. 

I see so much wavering by Christian leaders.  Heavens!  If they themselves are not being caught up in sexual scandal and being exposed internationally, then they are making excuses for those whom are!  We need to be able to call sin – SIN.  We need to be able to communicate to the next generation why sin is sin.  And, not offer excuses for the fact that sin exists!

I know as a father the temptation is to say, “It’s ok, you are not the first one to xyz, and you will not be the last.  But, you just need to keep going and put it behind you….. blah blah blah blah!”  In reality though, it is harder to say something like, “This is SIN, this is why God sees this as SIN, now how are we going to deal with this nature in your life?”

As I said, this has been a long thinking process and I only started coming to conclusions.  Perhaps tomorrow or next week I will have a more finite perspective, but for now this is where my thinking is on this issue….

Denying the Power Thereof

I was reading through some of my older postings, from the last dead Blog, and I was thinking this morning on reposting my thoughts of II Timothy 3:2 – 5.  I wondered then, as I do now, how this scripture describes the average Christian, especially some of whom have communicated with me recently over my “failure as a father” due to my eldest’s antics.  I am not going to argue anyone could be a better parent, but were they really saying something about themselves?  Make no mistake, my daughter knows exactly what she was doing – and just does not care if God approves or disapproves.  Like her, how far has the average Christian left God in their dust?

We probably all know of those around us whom are lovers of self.  Heavens!  Companies such as YSL, Coach, even Starbucks, as well as a hundred other companies, prey upon the provision of luxury to those whom want the “best”.  Often, what they offer is not the best - you are just led to believe so and therefore want what they offer!  Just pick a name brand and you know what I am saying.  How about having more, as in bigger?  When a small – aka “Tall” - Starbucks will do, why do you need a “Grande” or “Venti”?  Why do double or triple Whoppers exist at all?  Why paint your toe nails?  Or only use brand XYZ “cleansing” products?  Lovers of self…..

Lovers of money.  We live in an age of more-more-more and more – and that takes money, lots of money!  Even amongst of my Christian friends I wonder why they seek wealth the way they do!  My radar scientist friend has more wealth than most smaller nations – yet lives paycheck to paycheck!  I have had money and I have lost money.  Honestly, not having money is a whole lot easier than the worry, boastfulness and pride that come with wealth.  Seeing God working everyday in your life is a whole lot more fascinating than providing for yourself and never needing to rely on God.

II Timothy 3:2, “...disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, lovers of pleasure…”, continues Paul.  Suddenly, I am seeing Romans chapter 1 again.  In particular, verses 28 through 32.  Given over to our own depravity, is it any wonder events as constantly seem to appear in our lives, occur daily?  Is it any wonder I get hate eMail?

And “…denying the power…”.  That is the hard one.  People in my church, whom I would liken to brothers and sisters, whom appear to be Christian, really may not be due to their lack of a relationship with God.  Is it any wonder we do not see the Spirit manifest in our Body, when we are dedicated to ourselves and not God?  Is it any wonder we see the uncorrected waywardness of youth these days?  Look at the example our culture has set!

I do not know if we are in the end times or not as is addressed in Romans and Timothy, but I do know each of us probably has much to address in becoming the man or woman of God we are called to be.  And according to Paul that is going to start with a lifestyle change, where our focus is not on ourselves and our comfort – but to those around us and Him.

Kids On Marriage

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich. - Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck. Ricky, age 10

Moral Relativism

Moral relativism is when morality is not defined by objective and/or universal truths, but instead make claims relative to social, cultural, historical or personal circumstances.  Moral relativists hold that no universal standard exists by which to assess an ethical behavior; it is the opposite of moral absolutism.  Moral relativists often see moral values as applicable only within certain cultural boundaries or in the context of individual preferences.  An extreme relativist position might suggest that judging the moral or ethical judgments or acts of another person or group has no meaning.

Jean-Paul Sartre held that a personal and subjective moral core lies or ought to lie at the base of individuals' moral acts.  In this view public morality reflects social convention, and only personal, subjective morality expresses true authenticity.

In popular culture people often describe themselves as morally relativists, meaning they are accepting of other people's values and agree that there is no one ‘right’ way of doing some things.  However, this actually has little to do with the philosophical idea of relativism; relativism does not necessarily imply tolerance, just as moral objectivism does not imply intolerance.

*****

Oh where oh where can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven so I got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world

In the early sixties, a song came out by J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers, entitled, "The Last Kiss."  The song is about a couple out on a date whom get into a auto accident.  The girl dies in her boyfriend's arms.  He mourns her death singing the above refrain.

This song sums up the attitude of a lot of people.  They think they can live a good life, if the good works they do outweigh the bad, then they will have earned their way to heaven.

Unfortunately, the Bible does not allow anyone to earn their way to heaven.  Numerous verses show us that good works have nothing to do with one entering heaven.  It is only by God’s grace we are allowed into His presence, and then only after our relationship with Him has been covered by Jesus’ sacrifice.  It is nothing we can earn, because God has done everything for us on a cross and through an empty tomb, two thousand years ago.

Titus 3:5 - Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us.

Ephesians 2:8 – 9 - For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Hebrews 11:6 - But without faith it is impossible to please him.

John 6:29 - This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.

So, the moral relativist might argue there are no absolute rules for morality, but even they rely upon a set they wish not to acknowledge - bust out their car window, steal their stereo and suddenly their morality is based on the Ten Commandments – just so you never hold them to that standard! 

After all, you are being judgmental then…